Secound Time Around
by self-piercing
Summary: How will this year turn out for Ino? Will everything turn out perfect between her and Deidara, and what about her pregnancy? Please read A New Start and Weeks of Summer before you read this. Thank you! :
1. Chapter 1

It doesn't have to mean anything does it. That I'm huge, people are looking. It doesn't mean anything that Deidara has been hanging more with his friends than me.

I was just being clingy after all.

That Naruto hadn't answered on my text message didn't mean anything. It had only been a half hour.

Yes, I was being clingy.

As well as lonely, and hungry. Lazy, I was too lazy to make anything. I wish I could lie on my back until I starved. That would have been great.

My phone buzzed on the floor.

My hand lazily drops down from the sofa. Naruto? Yes, Naruto. He was out with Sakura. He asked me to join them. Out of guilt I'm sure.

He should know how much I hate that bitch. "Just us three again." I said to myself and patted my stomach. No wonder I was here alone. I don't blame anyone for leaving me here to rot. Who wants to be with the pregnant teen?

My phone buzzed again. Probably just Naruto asking if I was sure on staying home alone. He didn't like me being alone. Still he was with that whore all the fuckings time. God! Those stretch marks are so itchy! I was halfway there. Didn't help my mood that I was still growing.

It had been two weeks since school started. I did go, trying to ignore all the glares and rumors. Some of them were in fact really funny. Like Sasuke running away because he wasn't ready to be a father, Deidara had killed him because he was so jealous. Yeah, I shouldn't complain about the lack of fantasy.

Right now I was bored out of my mind. Listening to the fuzzy sounds my soda made became boring after a while. It was all I could say. I knew that Deidara was out with his lame friends even if said he was going to study. He always did that, lye to me. Like he didn't care now that he had me, the chase is all the fun?

I growled, got up and dressed. I wasn't sure where I was going. I just followed my heart, more my feet. I couldn't have a care in the world just where I was going. I was out of the house, so I was happy. I didn't care more about things that didn't matter. I found myself in front of a door that I knew too much. I knocked and waited for answer.


	2. Chapter 2

I knocked, and I waited. Yes, waited. I was mad for doing this. Out of my mind, yet it made sense. In my mind it made perfect sense, for anyone else it was totally madness. I could hear someone crying and doors slamming. No yelling though, it was silent. I looked around noticing how well kept the garden was. I could hear the crying getting closer.

Then he opened the door, surprised to see me. "What are you doing here?" he said in shock "My wife could have been home!" Yes, she could have been. After several walks around the neighborhood I've learned a simple way to tell if she was home or not. "Her car is gone. I'm not stupid you know." He let out a silent oh, and turned noting me to follow.

I followed him into his living room. He was trying to hush his daughter. It only made it seem worse. "Eh? Do you mind holding her while I make her something to eat?" He seemed stressed so I agreed. She was heavy, so I sat down with her. She was so tiny and cute, so I thought until he started pulling my hair. I didn't say anything because she was laughing. That sadistic little bastard. She had blond hair and blue eyes, she looked a lot like her father.

"Sorry about that," he said and lifted her. She didn't seem pleased by her father's action and waved her hands. "Da-da!" she screamed angrily. There was no sympathy to gain from him, he just laughed at her. "Oh, children, what can you say?" he laugh. I watched her eat her banana and some baby food. We didn't speak, we just watched. After eating she was happy and wanted to play.

"Something wrong?" he asked not taking his eyes away from his daughter. "No, or… there's something you need to know." He didn't say anything, just waited for me to continue. "I'm having twins." Still I waited for a reaction. Was he mad at me? "We're having twins then," he finally said, then came the silence again. I didn't know what to say.

"What's your wife saying to all of this, does she even know?" He looked over at me and smiled. I could then see how I got up in this mess. "Yeah, she isn't the normal housewife you know." He didn't say more. Once again we just sat there.

"Can I touch it?" he asked suddenly standing next to me. I nodded. His touch made me smile. "It's weird that we all started out like that," he said.

I had to go when his wife finished training. I didn't mind, I had passed some time. That wasn't something I minded. I felt much better when I came home. Sure it was dark and lonely, but I didn't feel all that lonely. The clock told me it was midnight. I had walked around a while before I went home. I took a shower and went to bed.

I woke up later that night with an arm around me. Deidara was sleeping but my elbow would change that. He grunted in pain behind me. "What happened with gently nudging?" he whined not fully awake.

"Don't you love me anymore?" I asked him straight out. I could almost hear him roll his eyes. "Sure I do, now let's go back to sleep." I sat up. "What's that supposed to mean?" I watched him squirm. "What you talking about?"

He annoyed me senseless at the moment. "Sure I do? What kind of answer is that?" He rolled over on his stomach. "You're making too much out of this, it's just your hormones." I wanted to strangle him right there and then. "What do you mean by that? Hormones? I'll give you fuckings hormones! I disgust you, don't I? You hate me now that I'm fat and pregnant!"

I ran to the bathroom slammed the door, locked it and started crying.

This was just one of many waken nights Deidara had to suffer trough now that it was the 23rd week. All this was because of, well pretty much hormones.


	3. Chapter 3

He knocked the door. "Ino, come out now."

"You hate me! Don't you?" I could hear him sigh.

"No, I love you very much. Just that, sometimes you're too much to handle."

I started crying out loud. "STOP CALLING ME FAT ALL THE TIME!"

There was little he could do to get me out of the room. Still he tried for a while. Then he went back to bed, he was tired just like me. When everything went quiet I silently walked out of the bathroom only to be grabbed by a pair of arms.

"Hi!" I called kicking around me. I soon relaxed. "Don't go around thinking I don't love you, or that you're fat." I started sobbing into his arms. "What do you say? Us two, tomorrow, a bunch of crappy movies?" I wrapped my arms around him. I might have been overreacting a tiny bit. "Only if there will be grapes." We both started laughing because we knew; Deidara does NOT share his grapes.

"Deidara, would you rather make out with Itachi, or tell Kisame in a very seductive way that he's been a bad boy?" The movie we were watching was indeed very crappy to put it kindly. "I would go for Kisame, I can picture making out with Itachi is like making out with cardboard." We both shuddered and laughed. "Okey, would you rather teach Sai about lust and sex or would you tell that dog guy Kiba all the inappropriate places you want to stick the tail of his dog?" Sai was a new student in my class. He was emotionally and socially retarded. Still I liked him.

We decided to go to bed early, since school as up tomorrow. Too lazy to walk home I decided to spend the night.

"Deidara, are you sleeping?" I didn't get an answer. I let out a snarl and hit him with my elbow. He grunted as I pretended to be asleep. "Ino?" I didn't answer him. He kissed my cheek and got up. It was three in the night so he couldn't get up for the morning.

I waited until he came back eating something. I opened my eyes to see what. A cheese sandwich. I waited for him to sit down before I grabbed it out of his hands. "I need it more than you," I said smiling at him. He sighed and got up to make a new one mumbling something about sharing. I wouldn't hear any of it. I had gotten what I wanted.

"INO!" Deidara yelled from somewhere "get up! You have to go to school!" I screamed pushing the pillow over my head. "INO!" he yelled impatient. He got in the room. "Ino, you have to get up. Are you going to school?" God, he was so annoying. "Yes, I don't look sick, do I? Stupid question." He started tapping his foot. I removed the pillow. He was fully dressed, I wondered what time it was. "Get out," I said. He looked down at me. "You heard me! Get out!" I hit him with the pillow. He said nothing but walked out.

I was in an extremely bad mood walking to school that morning. I didn't greet anyone and went straight to class. History with our beloved gray haired fucktard. "Ino, are you there? I'm telling you something!" Naruto almost yelled out. I hadn't heard shit of what he was saying. "No, now go away!" Naruto looked shocked. "Fuck off I said!" Naruto looked so puzzled. "What?" was all he could make himself say. He was really out of it. "Why won't you leave me alone! " I almost cried. Kakashi was standing in the doorway watching everything. He had waited for this day.


	4. Chapter 4

"Deeeidaarraa! Do you have a banana?" I purred clinging to his hand. "So he claims," Itachi said emotionless. Kisame spurted out whatever he was drinking. Deidara gave Itachi a glare of death. I kept tugging his arm. "I hope you don't mind it being covered with Itachi spew out." I shrugged. "All I wanted was some banana."

"INO!" Naruto yelled. I had been ignoring his calls from behind me. He would catch up with me sooner or later. "What's wrong?" I just glared at him. He should know. "It's okey that you like Sakura better than me, but you don't have to go around saying shit about me!" Naruto looked confused. I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to play this game. Sakura popped up next to Naruto. "Wow, now that I'm close I can really see what people mean about you being huge. You're hippo size, all you got there can't all be the baby." She gave an evil smile.

God, how I wish I could kill that whore. Naruto had fallen silent. Might as well be a good thing, I didn't want to deal with them since they had teamed up against me. That Sakura did so didn't surprise me, but Naruto.

Karin came over to her beloved friend Sakura. I was about to go. "So how's Deidara?" Oh, no she didn't! I turned around again. "Isn't if funny that we have done both of her boyfriends," Karin said and high fived with Sakura. "Isn't it funny that they both dumped you over me?" I asked. Naruto was clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation. "So who's the father of the devil child since you're so lose?" Sakura asked but was stopped by Karin. "No, no! I have something better to ask. Remember that weekend when Deidara went to see his parents. Well, I'm unlike others here, a young mother."

I was broken. They had won, I started walking away. Naruto ran after me. Sadly I couldn't see the look he gave Sakura. He didn't understand that we were girls fighting, there weren't any rules, just how deep you would sink. Sakura was sinking way deep.

"He wouldn't, you know how they are," he comforted. "Let's just get to class. I'm not crying over a guy again." Naruto just nodded.

"And they're best friends again!" Kakashi bursted out seeing us walk in together. I didn't answer him, Naruto was once again confused. The poor guy. I couldn't concentrate during class. I couldn't believe Deidara had cheated. There had to be some explanation to this. That even if he had been acting strange lately. No, if he had been with her all the time she would have rubbed it in my face.

God, it's better to ask him, right? I started laughing thinking about Sasuke. He had apologized later. The worst thing is that I would have forgiven him if he hadn't moved away to go to school in Italy. It frightened me, but I had Deidara now. It's funny how the friend who put through all the crap about your failed relationships, the one who's always there for you is the right one. Deidara would never cheat on me. No, I wouldn't believe it.

I was waiting for him outside his door when he came smiling. "Would you ever hurt me?" His smile dropped. "No, never." He looked down at me. "Why did you lie to me? When you said you were going to your parents, why did you go to the slut of an ex-girlfriend that you have?" He didn't even try the deny it. "I had a perfectly good reason…" I didn't let him finish. I got up and ran off.


	5. Chapter 5

"I felt like you have asked me this before…" Itachi said. I was sitting on his sofa looking straight forward. "No, I don't think he's still seeing that girl. He didn't even want to go and get his movie from her. Still Kisame insisted, and he can be quite pervasive when he wants something." I looked over at Itachi. "No, it was not Jaws." He sat down next to be.

"Eh, life is a bitch." Itachi plunged under the sofa and got back up with a beer. "I would ask you if you wanted one, but you're right. Life is sure a bitch. If I had been a slut, it would have been easy." I chuckled, Itachi is so silly.

We sat there for a while. "So he just went to get a movie?" Itachi nodded. "God, he hates that bitch." It made me pleased. Why would Itachi know that he went there? It's not like Deidara would tell them a lie when they didn't know about him going there. "He is worried shitless tho."

I looked at Itachi taking a good sip of his beer. Why would Deidara be worried? "He knows he has you, but he doesn't know if he can keep you. You're a whore. Does that make you sad and want to sleep with me?" I slapped my hand on his stomach laughing. "No, papa dei is worried about becoming papa dei." I got up and found my way out. On the way home I couldn't help to teach myself to let people finish.

Going inside Deidaras apartment I couldn't help but to stop. "Deidara! Have you been smoking inside again?" We had both agreed that he didn't mind going outside to smoke so that I could come over. "I was outside two hours ago!" he called from the kitchen. "Don't lie! I can smell it!"

"Ino, I haven't been smoking inside. Trust me." He came over to hug me. I had to trust him, even if I didn't want to stay there. "I'm sorry." I started crying. He patted my back telling me everything was okey. It wasn't I had been a total bitch against him. He would never hurt me.

I felt like that snake after eating a hippo when I finished dinner. "I'm surprised you made enough for both of us." There was hardly anything left. "You've been eating that much for a while now. Haven't you noticed?" I was puzzled. Now I felt like the hippo, huge. "It doesn't matter, I think it's cute."

Deidara was victim for massive mood swings the next two week. Ranging from clingy to getting a shoe in his head, he got it bad. He was happy for every calm sane minute he could spend with me. He was amazed by how they could make my abdomen move and the next minute they could be all sleeping.

All the poor thing could do with it was coping. Even if it wasn't easy. I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep going to school. I hadn't been feeling all that great. Always tried, but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't concentrate. What was the point of going if I didn't learn anything?


	6. Chapter 6

"Deidara?" I said. We were both on the sofa, me resting my head in his lap. "Mhm, what?" he said looking at the TV. I didn't even know myself. I just craved attention. "What's your favorite tea?" I could feel him laughing a little but didn't hear anything. "Are you bored now?"

I didn't bother lying so I confirmed one of his worst fears. "Would you still love me if I was fat?" He turned off the TV. "You know I would love you no matter what." I looked up at his face. "Doesn't sound like you mean it." He was struggling to keep from showing any sign of annoyance. "How come?" He was still looking at the black TV screen. "You sound so distant and uninterested."

I was wondering if I should just drop it and make him get me something to eat. If only I could eat marshmallows, fuckings gelatin. "I think I want a C section. I don't wanna ruin my body, but still it isn't natural. What you have picked?" This time I felt him tense. "God! Ino! I'm a man! I'm not having this conversation. I can't get pregnant! I don't care!" He talked rather fast blurting out the words. He seemed rather uncomfortable with the question.

Later that evening some of Deidaras friend came over. I had been too lazy to go home yet.

"Oh, I was hoping to see you here." Itachi wore an evil smile holding a bag. "Kisame! Come over here!" Did hypothermia want me something, he scared me. "Now sit up," Itachi demanded. I sat up rather unsure what the two of them was up to. Itachi got something out of his bag. He held a ball (soccer am.) in front of my stomach. "It's just the same size, looks like you owe me 15 fast ones." My stomach started slightly hurting. "It's not fair, you're an older brother." Itachi took the money and gave his response. "Shouldn't be making bets with me then."

When I got up I noticed that my back hurted and things felt just strange. I went to find Deidara who was in the kitchen. I almost died when I saw him. Not only because he looked good, because I've faced it. He always do, he could be stranded in the jungle for three weeks and still be front page material. The reason was the he was drinking and holding a cigarette, it wasn't lit. Still I wanted it so bad, yeah. Going home was a really good idea.

I kissed him to get his attention. "I'm not feeling good, so I'm going over to my place to get some sleep." He hugged me. "Are you going to be okey alone?" I hugged him back. I love him so much it felt like someone would have to pry me away. "Yeah, I'm just going to sleep, just remember that you have school tomorrow." I let go of his hand.

On the walk over to my own bedroom felt a little better, even if I had to take that back 15 minutes later. I wasn't really able to sleep. I wasn't in that much pain, still something felt off. I tried reading a book, but ended up listening to the guys laughing. It was calming and I felt happy with the fact that I wasn't going to raise any children. Right? Yes, I must be happy.

I don't want to waste my teenage year, or my whole life. I need to get an education, get a job, a safe place that was big enough. Me not taking care of them is the best for everyone.


	7. Chapter 7

I was scared out of my senses when I called Deidara.

"Hi?"

"Are you too drunk to drive?"

No response.

"Fuck you, Deidara!"

"What do you want now? I'm sure there's something you can eat at your place, even if it isn't what you want."

"I need to go to the hospital you whorebear!"

"Are you okey?"

"Yes, I'm fuckings okey. Is there anyone else that can drive me then?"

"Sure you're okey? Hidan hasn't been drinking. You need help to get to the car? What's wrong with you anyway?"

"I'll meet both of you there, and there's nothing wrong with me!"I hung up on him. I didn't have time for this.

They were both by the car when I came outside. Deidara looked worried and Hidan looked rather pissed off. Deidara rushed to my side examining me, trying to figure out what was wrong. "I just need some pills to stop the contractions, okey?" I don't know what I should call the look in his face. If I was in a better mood I would have laughed. I didn't, I was scared. Still I tried to act calm.

"That means that they're?" I nodded and got in the car. Hidan didn't look mad anymore. I don't know why they were worried. I was going to get some pills to stop the contractions, and then everything would be fine. Yeah…

The car ride couldn't have been more awkward or tense. I was looking outside the window. It's funny how things change. How everything goes from good to bad, to good then to bad again. In other words, ups and downs. Eh, fuck my life. It's constantly shitty, why do I even bother?


	8. Chapter 8

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

So things could have been worse, right? My ice cream could have tasted better. Low carb ice creams tastes like soap and plastic. Naruto was watching me, worried that I would break down any second. I was happy, it had been too late to stop it when we came to the hospital. I have nightmares about Deidaras white face, okey, maybe not, but get the point? Yeah, it looked like he was about to drop dead. Haven't seen him after that. I had a C section because I was too weak for anything else. The twins were in an incubator.

I hadn't taken the time to see them yet. I didn't want to. No, because it was my fault that they were on the outside, and it could even end up with me wanting to have something to do with them. I hate myself.

It was complete silence in the room. I didn't feel that it was a strained awkward one. It was comforting. Naruto on the other hand didn't seem to enjoy it. He wasn't sure what to do or to say. He didn't like the way I was reacting to things.

They happen for a reason right? Faith or something, what do I know. Something I wanted to know was why I hadn't seen any of Deidara. Not once, I missed him and had really needed him when I woke up. But no! I had gotten the wrong blond.

"How's school?" I asked. It was the only thing I could do to make him feel better. "Boring, I didn't really pay much attention. I really miss having you and Sasuke there." God, Naruto was only trying to be nice, but he ends up making things so much worse.

"I hope he gets eaten by the natives or something." Naruto couldn't help but to give a little laugh. "I don't think Italians eat humans." I had to laugh at the wonderful vision of Sasuke getting eaten. "When are you getting out?"

I was here because they meant I wasn't able to take care of myself, eating wise. I had been eating a lot, I didn't see their problem. I must have been eating like a grown hippo, but as the doctors had said. It doesn't matter how much when it's not the right food. They didn't even want to call fruit and vegetables food.

"When those sadist find it fitting."

I was myself sick of this. The big ass needle in my arm didn't make it any better. They say that fruit is just water still they decided that I was dehydrated. Bastards, need to be helping people who need it and in fact are sick.

"Are you sure that you're okey? You're handling this too well, I know that you aren't the mother type, but there has to be something inside there. They're still your children, and they might die or spend their first months in the hospital."

I didn't want to answer him. He had asked this questions so many times now. He took my silence as a queue to leave. "In fact I would be glad if they did die."

Naruto stopped in his tracks. He was sure that I was losing it. That I was going psycho, I wasn't psycho, no I was honest.

"We both know that's not true, stop acting, you're only hurting yourself."


	9. Chapter 9

It was burning a hole to my heart. The guilt of not feeling bad, but at the same I was floating in an existence of no feeling.

I didn't do what was expected of me. I didn't feel like dying. I didn't feel a thing, then I felt bad for not feeling anything. The hours only got longer and longer at the hospital. I didn't mind the all white and sterile environment. It kept me sane more than anything. Just picture an orange hospital. Oh, I can. Sort of. Naruto was around all the time. I told him over and over again not to come. I was mad at him, at Deidara, at the doctors, at the whole world. Mostly I was angry at God. But I don't believe in God. I just needed someone to blame for this. Someone that wasn't me.

I know, maybe, deep down that this was all my fault. It was my fault, but I didn't ask for this. I was too young to be blamed, no. I was old enough to get in this mess. It's too late to change anything. It was too late to run away from it. I had to deal with my own mess. It wasn't too late to start over again, start living. That was a lie, it could never be fine again.

It was the fifth day of crying. Five days I had spent crying. The cold act was entirely gone. There was nothing. It was the same problem. I felt empty, but this time I reacted. I couldn't believe it. It was so simple. I couldn't understand it.

I got up from my bed. My own bed, at home. I didn't find as much of a comfort of being home as I hoped for. It was quiet and lonely. I didn't know what I wanted. Every time I had someone around me I would be mad, if I was alone I was sad, crying.

Doctors order was that I wasn't supposed to be alone for long periods of time. First my friends set up a list over who was going to be with me when. I'm guess they started giving up when I became violent. Only Deidara would sit with me then, but I was mad at him. He hadn't been there for me. I didn't know what he had been up to. I'm guessing he was partying, drinking, sleeping with as many women he could before hippopotamus me came and tied him down.

I rubbed my eye, it was irritated, pink and swollen by tears. I didn't want to stay in bed anymore, I was tired of it. I was tired of the whole thing. I had to get up and answer the door anyway. I wanted to be done sulking and crying.

"Your nose is bleeding." It was Itachis turn to check on the deluded nutcase. He was right, I could feel the warm blood running down turning cold. I wiped it off on my sleeve. Itatchi looked disgusted, he had all reason too I'm sure. "When was the last time you showered?" My nose just wouldn't stop bleeding, it just kept going. "Sorry, it hasn't been on the top of my list the last few days." My voice was cracked up and dry. I had used it far more for screaming and crying that talking.

I went to the kitchen to make some tea. Itachi had seen that I wasn't killing myself or anything so I didn't care about him anymore. He could do whatever, his mission was done. "You're really letting yourself go here." He was commenting on the mess my place consisted off. The blood under my nose was drying up. It still turned cold when I breathed out. It had stopped right under my nose. I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I had been spending the last days in bed, but I hadn't been doing much sleeping.

"Are you just going to keep silent?" I didn't have any more to say so that was the plan. "I can't believe you! One day you're miss. Everything is fine! A few days later you're this mess! I can't stand seeing you like this! Why can't you talk to anyone of us?" I dropped my cup of tea, more like threw it. The hot water burnt my feet, but I was too heated by anger to take notice. "BECAUSE NONE OF YOU HAVE KILLED YOUR OWN CHILDREN!"


	10. Chapter 10

"I'm trapped!" I screamed. I had found my way home. Deidara had been worried sick. "Ino, what are you talking about? You're right here, with me." He looked confused. He had every right to be. "I don't want to do this anymore." I said silently. "What did you say," was his response to that. This time he looked more worried. I didn't want to tell him, so I hugged him. The action was not returned. It was then it hit me that he didn't love me anymore. I wasn't the same person. How could he love me? I wasn't fun, I was hard work. Would a child watch cartoons or do homework? I was homework. I wanted to push him away and die that moment.

"Let's dance!" I yelled. I grabbed his arms and started leaning back. The movement was sudden and he unprepared. Needless to say he gave after and we fell on the floor. I giggled and he looked into my eyes. What he was looking for I didn't know. Maybe it was a sign of the old me still being there, the one he used to laugh with, tell everything to, love. I sighed, I would never really figure him out.

He rolled off me. "Why can't you accept it?" he asked. I grabbed his arm and looked over at him. "I want to be happy." I told him. If it was what he was looking for I didn't know, I wasn't sure what he meant by accepting. I wasn't denying anything. "You remember the first day of school?" He laughed a little. "Sexy blond, your beauty then doesn't compare with the one you have now." It was a lie, I had let myself go. It was no doubt about it. "Everything was so simple then, I was sad, yes. My mother had died that summer. It was for the better, maybe. It made me change. I didn't always use to be like this." He didn't say anything. He waited for me to continue, but he didn't demand it, I didn't feel any pressure. I didn't have to, if I didn't want to.

"I don't ever talk about it," I told him, he squeezed my hand, not so hard that it hurted. "I'm here for you, you know that?" I wonder how long that would last. Things doesn't last forever, especially good things. I wondered if I should go for it, or if I should keep it for myself. "My father used to beat me, and some part of me thinks I deserved it, my mom used to stop him. He wasn't my biological father. I don't know my real father. I don't know a thing about him." There was silence for a while. "I used to argue with my parents all the time. They got tired and kicked me out." I knew that he wasn't telling me everything, but he didn't push me. So I wouldn't do that to him.

We lay there for a while. Didn't say anything, didn't move. "How can you love me when I mess up all the time?" it felt right to ask. "I don't even know myself." It was honest, but not what I wanted to hear. "Everybody leaves me in the end." Deidara looked over at me. "I'm still here, you have to outdo yourself to make me leave." Maybe he was right, but that didn't mean that I wouldn't do anything to scare him away. "I love you too much, I can't lose you. Yet I'm ruining what we have. Does that make any sense to you?" He smiled. "You're scared."

So I was scared, I was scared of losing him, I was scared what might make me lose him, yet I was pushing the limits all the time. I was scared of hurting him, but that made me hurt him all the time. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't lose him. "Some day there's going to come along someone prettier, smarter and saner girl. I don't blame you for picking here." He gave a short laugh. "You're talking like I've found her and dumped you. So what if someone like that comes along? You're the one I love, she will never be you."


	11. Chapter 11

We fell asleep like that. On the floor, holding hands. I wouldn't have minded dying like that. I wouldn't have minded dying at all, but at one point we all have to wake up. Unless we are dead, and I wasn't. With my luck that day would never come. But I decided to use my time one earth wisely. Looking at Deidara sleeping. He didn't look human. More like an angel, more like a doll. He didn't look human at all. So I couldn't help wondering if he was an angel, because dolls aren't living. They are cold, dead and so easily broken. I'm a doll.

I was scared of letting his hand go. Like I would lose him, or more like I would be lost. Still my head was killing me. It hurted so bad, and I was so thirsty. Not for alcohol, that was for sure. I gave a little laugh. I didn't remember much of last night. No, that was for sure. Still I didn't have that concerned feeling. I didn't think I had done anything stupid, and that was a good thing. I felt better today, much better.

I had to touch his hair, it felt so good and soft. I wondered if could ever get over losing him. I was pretty sure I couldn't. I couldn't live without him, still I was constantly playing with his feelings. "If you only knew how much I need you, how much I love you." I wished for things to be easier, to be simple. I missed the old times. The fun times. I sat down on top of him. I woke him up by kissing his neck. "I don't think you're ready for this," he mumbled. I wouldn't listen, I needed for him to love me. "I need you," I said looking at him with big eyes. I kissed him, I needed him that was true. He didn't push me away. He was a boy after all.

I light up a cigarette. I should be hitting the shower, but I was too tired. I didn't feel like doing anything, I felt empty. Deidara seemed happy, he was smiling. Him smiling made me feel better. He hadn't smiled like that in a long time. "Did you ever loved someone else?" Why I asked I didn't know, it was a perfect way to ruin the mood. "Not in the way you are thinking." He said dreamingly. I wanted to know more. I honestly didn't know that much about him. Still I loved him, nothing could change that. "I'm gonna take a shower." I told him. He didn't move. For all I know he was thinking everything was fine again. I wanted him to be happy.

When I came out of the shower he had already made breakfast, or lunch judging from the time. "Do you know what would have been good?" I asked. He shook his head no. "Ice cream!" He was silent for a second then we both started laughing. "There's some things I'm not missing." He said. I wanted to tell him I would do anything to relive that time, but I kept silent. "You're the perfect boyfriend, I also have the perfect friend. Itachi is throwing a party later tonight?" Deidara looked fake surprised. "Him perfect friend? He did not tell me anything about this?" It felt good laughing again. I had missed laughing like this, with Deidara.

"Deidara!" I screamed. He came running into the bathroom. "Have you been using my hairbrush?" I held up my brush in front of him showing the evidence. Yellow hair! His eyes were wide, but then he got to know that it was all about my hairbrush he calmed down. "No, you see. I can explain…" He started laughing nervously. "You can explain?" I was tapping my foot. He kept on laughing, but I stopped. This reminded me of a mother yelling at her child. Deidara didn't notice anything, and it didn't matter. I would be forgetting about it in a few hours.


	12. Chapter 12

Itachis parties were always the best. He had the right things to drink, places to be alone, a house to himself and most importantly he knew all the right people. This was the recipe to a perfect party. Nobody would ever deny it, not now, not ever.

Itachi himself was sitting on the couch with one girl on each side. He was such a… player. He would do any girl if she looked good enough. Hidan had showed up and was whispering into the ear of some girl. Kisame was hanging out with the possible asexual guy, both of them drinking. There was also a load of other people I didn't know. All I cared about right now was Deidara and my bottle. "I love you so much!" I told him. He kissed me, I'm guessing we both had enough to drink at that time. "I want you, and only you." We were looking each other in the eyes. He wasn't talking, but I knew better than to worry about it right then. "I need to pee," he said and shoved me off him. I giggled and drank some more.

Itachi made his way over when he saw that Deidara was gone. "Do you know what?" he asked with an evil smile. I didn't bother to answer him. "My bratty little brother." His smile grew with each word. "I don't give a fuck." Lie, I was mad. "Yeah, he said he would giving many fucks this weekend. His girlfriend is over you know? She's upstairs if you want to talk to her." I know he was trying to start something, but I was mad and didn't care. "Really, is that bitch upstairs?" Itachi nodded. With nobody stopping me I got up. Itachi sent Hidan a wink in the corner. They both followed me.

"Screw you Sakura!" I screamed. She was in the kitchen getting a glass of water. Sasuke was standing next to her. I wasn't scared of him anymore. "Screw you too!" I screamed at him. He lifted his eyebrow in that way I used to love. "Are you suggesting a threesome?" Sakura gave a giggle "we all know she's the person that would be up to something like that. You need to lose some baby weight darling." She was giggling until I slapped her. Sasukes face was blank, she looked like she just got her inside ripped out. I was ready to start something. "I need to talk to you…" Sasuke said. He mentioned for Sakura to go outside.

"Being away made me realize that…" I cut him off. "I'm not falling for that crap again!" I knew what he was capable of. "What I did have no excuse, I didn't think it was wrong. I've seen my dad do it to my mom all my life. Sakura told me it was the best thing to do. I hated myself for doing it, I didn't even know how I could bring myself to do it. If it makes you feel any better, I ended things with her. Not that it matter, because you have someone else." It seemed like he meant what he was saying. "So you beat the crap out of me a few times! Doesn't change the fact that you slept with her while we were together!" He looked ashamed. If I had looked over at Hidan I would have seen just how amusing he found this. Itachi looked more sad and disgusted. "I don't have an excuse for that…" He looked down at the floor, ashamed. "I'm sorry," he said.

I didn't buy anything of it. I ran outside forgetting that Sakura was there. "Are you happy now, whore?" she screamed. I was crying. "You got every guy wanting you, you stole my Sasuke twice!" Maybe I was going to get the fight I wanted. "Oh no! I didn't steal anything of yours whore! And has it ever occurred to you that not everything is perfect in my life?" She let out a grunt. "You have the perfect body, you have the coolest friends, you have my Sasuke and every other guy wanting you! Still you have the perfect boyfriend so that doesn't matter. You even got rid of that baby problem of yours pretty good!" I hit her, straight in the face. "You haven't seen more of my body that I wanted you to see, I have friends because I act friendly, I don't want your fuckings Sasuke or anyone else. My perfect boyfriend is on the verge on breaking up with me and I didn't get rid of a baby problem. They were my children and I killed them! How is that dealing with a problem? I killed my own children! I hate myself, I hate my life! I want to die!"

I stole Deidaras car and drove off. I just wanted to get away, but more than anything I wanted to hit and run Sakura. That would have been great. Just perfect.


	13. Chapter 13

Just to let you know, I'm continuing this story on Weeks of Summer so that i have all the chapters in one place. Hope you understand that it's better for me, and it's easier for you too I guess. I like to think so, and yeah. Thanks for reading I guess, no… don't guess! It is a thank you, because it makes me happy and makes me feel loved and important! Haha, nah. It just makes me feel happy, anyway… You want to start off at the chapter called Vanessa if you've read everything up to now.

Thank you, it means a lot to me… cheesy!

~Piercing


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